Thursday, March 5, 2009

Puns of Perdition

I think a good advertising mascot for a Mormon bakery would be a cartoon character named Bruce R. McCookie.

And even though he said some things about the brownies that he claimed were doctrine, that we found out later were just his own speculation, well…

That doesn’t make him any less delicious!


Cafe Johnsonia said...

You are so naughty.

Bruce R. McCookie would also have to be wearing a cartoon suit made by Mr. Mac.

Wifey said...

Oh no, you did not just go there!

Gatsby said...

Oh, now you're pretending you don't like cookies?

Well wifey, I know for a fact that you do.

Expavesco said...

I always felt that Bruce R. McCookie's talks, like him, where a little cold and hard. I always preferred the soft and chewy talks of Ezra Taffy Benson.

Gatsby said...


Rick said...

Could he have a cartoon friend named "Gordon B. Sprinkley?"

Also, I have to disagree about the cartoon suit. It should actually be made by John Tailor.

On a side note, I almost sprayed diet coke on my monitor once I got the comments about "certain other pastries." It took me a second, but it was very funny.

emmy said...

Dear Brother Gatsby,

I have a question and hoping that your expert knowlege of the gospel could help me.

I love family get togethers, but whenever I go to one I hardly ever see my dad, uncles, or guy cousins, because they have "priesthood sessions." Even on Fridays at 10 pm.

Not only are these meetings at inconvinient times, but the speakers are very strange too - Brother Willis, Brother Depp. Lately they've been talking about Brother Sheen, Brother Nighy, and Sister Mitra.

But sisters don't go to priesthood sessions, do they?

Thank you,


Gatsby said...

I don't know. It's been a long time since I went to a Priesthood session.

But it sounds legit to me.

Brooke said...

What ward is Brother Depp in because I am SO there.

Holdinator said...

I love the puns of perdition. This one did not disappoint me.

Thanks Brother Gats.

Perry said...

There was never anything soft about Ezra Taffy Benson, but his talks were often sticky.

Speaking of tasty tarts, Sara B. Lee, wife of Brother George P. Lee or John D. Lee, one of the two, could sure get my pasties in a bun, any day! ;)

Perry L. Porter Elder Emeritus

Perry said...

Hummm... Seems there are a few forgotten confectioners, in the chruch.

Mrs. Joseph Fields Smith cookies.

Lorenzo Snow, invented the snow cone.

And famous for being ever so sweet and for snowy white frosting on top David O. McKake.

Emeritus for a reason.

steenky bee said...

Our insurance agent's name is Neal R. Maxwell. I seriously do a double take whever he sends us any information in the mail. That "R" looks an awful lot like an "A" at first glance.

sperckensiedoitch said...

I believe the word you were looking for is "sacril-icious."

Rick said...

I think it's time to set up a food cart outside Temple Square at General Conference, with all of the above-mentioned products. Especialy if it's warm, so we can have Lorenzo Snowcones. And the tagline so generously donated by sperckensiedoitch.

"Mmmm... they're sacri-licious!"

And could we open a restaurant that sells L. Aldin Porter-house steaks?

Caty said...

Bruce R. McCookie... Cute name for a bakery!!

Perry said...


"sure get my pasties in a bun"

Should have been correctly translated,.

"sure gets my PASTRIES" in a bun"

My bad.