Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Revelation Will Be Televised

It’s General Conference time again and they’re calling another new apostle. And I’ve been getting kind of nervous because I get the feeling it might be me.

In case it is, I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of apostle name I should use…

Do you think I should go by first initial – middle name – last name (like N. Eldon Tanner)?

Or first name – middle initial – last name (like Bruce R McConkie)?

Or try something totally new and do first initial - middle initial – lastname?

Or is that against church policy?

Is that why H.R. Puffinstuff was never called to be a G.A.???

Ugh… I’m so nervous I can’t even concentrate!

35 comments:

jaime said...

Hahaha!!! If this was a voting process I would totally vote for you

Evan said...

I know how you feel. I put off studying for my physics exam in order to focus on bettering my spiritual side just in case I happen to be the chosen one.

W. W. Phelps said...

I think we all know about my tragic story.

Gatsby said...

Ah... WW!

How about first initial - middle name - last inital?

Chrissy said...

It's times like this I am glad I accidentally gave my child the initials ACE

Gatsby said...

I heard you named him after (unusually handsome) American Idol contestant Ace Young?

True?

Also anyone know if Ace Young is a relative of the famous Young in church history (Steve Young)?

Kerri said...

What about the poor guy with no middle name? Does he go by first name, NMN, last name?

Gatsby said...

He just doesn't get to be a G.A.

TJ said...

You're for sure going to get the calling.

I know I voted for you!

Tiffany said...

Yes, I vote for all three initials. It's very 2009. Can't wait to sustain you!

Gatsby said...

All three initials? Awesome.

I just wish I had all three initials the same, so I would be the Mormon Tripple H.

emily and Nate said...

you are always a riot!

Papa D said...

All initials wouldn't be good for me or my wife (and she wouldn't be any more of a stretch than I would be). "CRD" [pronounced "crud"] and "MAD" [pronounced "mad"] probably aren't appropriate for an apostle and spouse - although "MAD CRD" actually is an awesome moniker for a plumber.

Rusty! said...

I think you should just use your full name. No initialing at all. Full first, middle and last name. I can't think of anyone that's done that.

Mooney said...

H.R. Puffinstuff (Herbert Rellman) also smoked too much marijuana and got his Temple Recommend revoked.

Mrs. B. Roth said...

This is my NEW new favorite blog! Thank you for blogging! Wow, and if, I mean WHEN you're a GA, I will TOTALLY stay awake for your talks, I PROMISE on all that is holy!

Lori Ann said...

Forget initials, full names, yada yada..that is all so 2008 fall conference..Why not drop the middle name and replace it with "the hammer"? Imagine how much that would wake everyone up? Following the choir singing, "Come Thou Font of Every Blessing" we will be pleased to hear from Thomas "the Hammer" Monson. And man oh man, would you get some mad street cred. So, its kind of a win- win:)

Annie said...

I'm preparing myself to be not-so-randomly picked from an audience of thousands to get up and share my testimony. I've already written it out in my head. I hope it doesn't sound rehearsed.

Annie said...

My word verification was "holasaw."

All I have to say to that is,

"Buenos dias hatchet."

SB said...

I am a new convert to your blog. A friend recommended it and I've read every past post. You are a genius! Seriously, you could get these published or do stand up comedy (maybe only at EFY or a single ward's FHE, but still.) Congratulations on being so funny and thank you for giving my husband and I some entertainment. I don't know if you're getting paid or not, but you should be. This kind of entertainment should not be free. I'm telling all my friends about you and posting a link to your blog from my blog.

Gatsby said...

Nope, not paid. But thank you.

I do have a section for advertising set up on the right side of the screen, but so far the only one to take advantage of that is this guy who is really into D&C - or is it D&D????

But I think other should give it a try too.

And thanks everyone for the comments. I still haven't decided which name to use. Right now I am thinking of taking one of the symbols from the Pearl of Great Price thing and and just going by that.

Like how Prince went by a symbol for a while. But a Mormon version of that.

Camilla said...

My husband's initials are DAM.

If he gets called, I'll be yelling out from the audience, "Get that DAM man away from the pulpit!"

emma said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cara said...

you could always go with "4 Q Q Q batman symbol"

NO JOKE said...

I decided not to give my daughter the name we were going to give her originally because her initials would have been JRC.

Japan Radio Corporation said...

No Joke,

Why are you so ashamed of us?

Lucy said...

You'd have my vote. So true. And so funny.

Papa D said...

NO JOKE, If my youngest daughter marries a man whose last name starts with an "I", her name will be JEDI. How cool would that be if she became an auxiliary president and we got to hear from Sister Jedi?

Gatsby said...

Oh. Good news! It wasn't me called to be the new apostle. It was... some other guy.

First-name - Middle-name - Last-initial said...

I still sustain you anyway, Gatsby

Neal said...

Whatever. I think that you're trying to hide your true identity, Neil L. Anderson!

Jim said...

I absolutely love the idea of using the full first two names and then the last initial. How does Ezra Taft B. sound? This is an idea whose time will come.

-G said...

Brother Gatsby:

I dropped a mention of your blog on my blog. Nobody reads it, but I thought you should know.

http://thenakhladog.blogspot.com/

Keep it righteous, brother.

P.S. What about "Elder Monkey Face?"

Vanessa Contessa said...

I personally believe the saints are ready for a one name only GA. It worked for Britney, Madonna and Sting. I think it totally has apostle written all over it. I mean, Paul never really needed to remind everyone of his last name, did he?

American Yak said...

You mean like Abraham or Moses?

Or something more like Gus?