Saturday, September 5, 2009

When Speaking In Sacrament

It's important when speaking from the pulpit in church, to remember that not every person in attendance may have read or be familiar with all of the stories found in the scriptures. So if you are planning to read or explain a story from any of the standard works, it is probably best to warn the congregation beforehand that your talk/lesson/testimony will include spoilers. 

I have found that something along the lines of "brothers and sisters... SPOILER ALERT!..." has usually worked well for me in the past.

Unless of course you'd prefer to be like that sister who spoke last Sunday who totally spoiled the end of the Noah story for me. 

Because seriously. Thanks a lot, lady!

21 comments:

brossettelewis said...

I know it not official or anything but we could take Eliza Dushku of the sidebar missionary efforts. I've just got done watching season 3 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer have you seen her tweets lately? Teach them correct principles ya know...


And I do agree talks should have spoiler alerts...and cancel buttons, tags, and youtube clips while we're at it. Just throwing it out there. :)

Lori Ann said...

Matsby,

I too have been the victim of "talk spoilers". There I was, trudging through the first chapters of Nephi, thinking "theres no way they'll make it out of Jerusalem" and WHAM, some jerk starts talking about Nephi's faith in crossing the ocean.

I wanted to boo the speaker but I didnt get my chance because the Sunbeam class was finished their talks it was on to the song portion.

Damn primary program.

Ian said...

What! They actually cross the ocean!

madhousewife said...

Someone forgot to say "SPOILER ALERT."

Matsby said...

Sister Lewis, I stand by my message to Eliza Dushku. Now more than ever, she needs to come back to church!

Sister Lori Ann - total spoiler!

Noelle said...

Spoiler Alert!!!

Moses freed the Children of Israel, parted the Red Sea as they escaped Egypt.

There, happy?

Matsby said...

Thanks Noel. I have no idea what you wrote because as soon as I saw "spoiler alert", I knew to skip over the rest.

Anonymous said...

And instead of going up to someone and complimenting them on their talk, you should just be able to click a "like" button.

Bloggin Betty said...

This same thing happened to me last week in F&T meeting. I had no idea Laban was beheaded. Now I have been having nightmares.

rameumptom said...

I've read the Book of Mormon over 75 times, and I'm going to keep reading it until they change the ending!

Matsby, what if what is discussed from the scriptures can be taken metaphorically/symbolically as well as literally? Does it then have to also be considered a spoiler alert? We need to get some clarification here....

Geoff said...

**SPOILER BELOW**

In the beginning God created the heaven and earth.

Homer and Queen said...

I just show the movie...or sometimes use flannel.

Kerri said...

We're supposed to READ the Book of Mormon? Guess I've been missing something. I just thought we carried it around for looks - you know, like wearing something other than sweats out in public.....

rameumptom said...

How many books of Mormon did it take to cover you up in public????

Kerri said...

Well, if you separate the pages.....

rameumptom said...

Did you use the thicker, cheap paper; or the nice see-through paper in the higher quality Quads?

Gospel scholars want to know!

Matsby said...

Haha! You guys...

Craig Barlow B. said...

This is a genius idea.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the Noah thing: God did it. Its always the one you least suspect.

-Adam Greenwood

Anonymous said...

On the other hand, I hate it when testimony people pause after saying "I know." C'mon, help me out here. The suspense is killing me.

-Adam Greenwood

rameumptom said...

Adam, er, I mean, Anonymous, when the suspense is that intense, do you suddenly jump up from your family pew and scream, "Look out behind you!!!!"?

I know it's usually the Bishop behind the person, but doesn't it just seem to liven up the meeting?